Surrounded by Wicked Intentions

I think of David, the second King of Israel, and how people sought to destroy him. The Psalms are full of his pleas to God for comfort, for deliverance from his enemies, for his enemies to basically go away. How many years did these enemies persecute him? How long did his soul cry out to God for deliverance?

Psalm 37: 12-13 says, "The wicked plotteth against the just, and gnasheth upon him with his teeth. The Lord shall laugh at him: for he seeth that his day is coming."

Sometimes I'm not sure I'm considered just. Am I not just enough? Then I look at the things David did (adultery, murder, etc), yet God called him "a man after My [God's] own heart". All the things David did wrong, things he blatantly did against God, yet God claimed David as His own. God shows such mercy and grace, that though I don't deserve His grace, He's freely given it to me.

Yet my soul still cries out. My souls still asks God, "Why? Why are these enemies trying so hard to cast me into a pit? Why do these others believe the lies? Why does this wicked person get to continue trying to harm me?"

At times I'm so weary. I weary of standing alone in the ashes. I'm weary of being the bigger, better person. I'm weary of responding in the right way. I'm wearing of being upright. I'm weary of standing for what's right and true. My soul is so very, very weary.

"I am weary of my crying: my throat is dried: mine eyes fail while I wait for my God." Psalm 69:3

A man named Duane Nichols wrote the words to a song called "Come Unto Me" for Soundforth. It starts, "My heart is heavy laden Lord, my flesh is worn and weak." This is what my heart feels; so very, very weary. My heart wants to give up, to not care, to run away and leave the wicked behind.

The song doesn't end there, it goes on to say, "Come unto Me, come unto Me, and I will give you rest. Come unto Me, come unto Me, be comforted and blessed."

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

Rest. I just want rest; rest and comfort. Though the evil people make up lies about me, though they badmouth me to my children, though they try to damage my reputation I want that peace and rest. Though I feel surrounded by the tainting of wickedness, by those believing the lies, I want comfort; to have no fear.

"Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass." Psalms 37:7

Lord may I have patience. Grant me patience from You, that I may know rest. Lord let me rest in You, that I may have peace.